- I graduated with my AA degree in Criminal Justice
- I graduated with my BA in Criminal Justice/Business Management
- My mom moved in with me and I now care for her at home.
It has been very enlightening for me having my mom live with me. It was sort of timely that she moved in with me. The house I had been renting was "sold" (not really, but the dishonesty shown us over that house is for another day.) Needing a place to live, we started looking, Mom living in an assistant living facility for people with Alzheimer's, desperately asked us to let her live with us. After much prayer, consultation, and thought we made the decision that it was the right thing to do, and mom moved with us to our new home.
`Mom has traveled a hard a hard road. Suffering from a heart attack and stroke in December of 2007 it changed everyone's lives that day. She lived in several different living facilities, none of which ever suited her preferences. But then again those preferences were based upon a reality that no longer existed. Mom now lives in an altered reality that tells her:
- She is capable of living on her own
- Fixing her own meals
- Cleaning up her home
- Shopping for groceries
- Crafts-sewing and bead work
- Church activities
Reality is that she lacks the thought process to do these things. She is able to initiate the thought process and to an extent carry them out, but she lacks the ability to complete out the thought process from start to finish. She is barely able to maintain order in her own room and bathroom, needing assistance to accomplish the heavier duty tasks such as dusting, mopping, and sweeping. She can do her own laundry and I think she actually washes as many clothes as my son did when he lived at home. She can prepare toast and her tea (thank you Keurig) and maybe cornbread or cookies with assistance with cleanup and food prep.
Living with me has given me a shapshot of all her previous complaints:
- I am too cold
- I "need" new shoes, pants, shirts, dresses, get my hair done, need a manicure, pedicure, perm my hair, color my hair.
- "You can't tell me what to do I HAVE MY RIGHTS!" (that is a frequent complaint of her's at the assistant living facilities when the rules were enforced)
- I'm hot
- I'm hungry
- I can't sleep
- Get me this, get me that... as she sits in her "princess chair"
This snapshot has given me insight to her behaviors as these are all things that she has tried while living here. Getting her to a psychiatrist to at least sort out the behavior issues and "maybe" once in her life give her some peace will perhaps give her a short time of happiness with the world around her. Is it the perfect life... not by far, but it is a good life and one that I am honored to be able to give back to this woman who worked so hard to provide a stable home for my brother and me. It is a hard road, and many days I want to throw the towel in, but I am here for the long haul. Caring for my mother has given me a strength and resolve that I did not know I had. I am her advocate, I stand in the gap between her and the rest of the world. That is a very powerful place to be.
~peace everyone
me
No comments:
Post a Comment